The Husband versus The Boyfriend

Installing a Husband
INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend
5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs
such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these
problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate.


DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears
6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then
automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0
(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck Babe!
Tech Support

Ahhhhh Catnip

Navatec

We went on a dinner cruise boat. The price was would have orinally been $100 plus but we ended up with the local discount. We were with other people who weren't from here so i don't think they got the kamaaina rate.

We went through the line and were told to "stand for the pictures." Boarded the boat and sat on the upper deck by the window, which cost $10 more per person. Our first course started out ok and was fast. Inbetween the meal someone came around and gave us the pictures we took, which we thought were for free, but were in reality $20.00 bucks each. We ate the lobster (which was good) and the steak (which was ok) and watched the show. The girls worked hard at entertaining the passengers.

Then our dinnermate was told he was a bad passenger and to go into the back. Apparently 10 minutes later he reappeared wearing a ridiculous outfit. But he was very cool looking as you can see. Then 10 minutes after he sat back down, another person came by and asked him if he wanted to buy a picture for, you guessed it - $20.00.

The funny part was that while I was taking pictures of him in the show, some guy rudely pushed my shoulder to get by me. Wanna guess who it was? The photographer who was taking the professional shots of the guys in the hula show.

So, while I rate the boat cruise as entertaining, there was far too much money being pushed for, and not in a very nice way. It was hustle and bustle all the way. I definetly thnk they should have offered more free drinks.

My Cat

I love my Pantera. She is getting older now but you wouldn't know. She gets poked with an IV of Lactated Ringers Solution and it seems to be working fine for her. The last year she was looking like she was gonna die standing up.....

Oil

This is what my friend has told me about oil, and the dollar. It makes sense.

I've been trying tofigure out what's going on with Oil, whether it's due to supply &demand, speculators, or something else, and I think it's mainly thedepreciation of the dollar. Oil hasn't increased in price when pricedin gold. A small portion of the world's people people own or control a largeportion of the world's wealth, and some of it is liquid (eg, notinvested in businesses, factories, real estate, etc.). In times offinancial instability and change, that wealth is sloshing around theworld trying to find safe havens where it won't depreciate too much.The credit collapse is tanking US and European, and maybe Asian stockmarkets, so stocks are not an option. The bond market is risky too, due to the expectation of inflation anddollar depreciation. The Fed hasn't really started inflating themoney supply yet, but the expectation is that they will.HIstorically, when a nation reaches a certain debt:GDP ratio, thegovernment invetibly choses to reduce the debt burden byhyperinflating the currency instead of cutting spending, raisingtaxes, and paying down the debt honestly. The fear is that the US hashit that point, or is close to it. Our ~$2.4T tax base (in goodtimes) will not be enough to even service our debt interest soon, witha ~$10T deficit, ~$50T+ in unfunded Social Security & Medicarepayments coming due over the next 50yrs, and the balance of paymentson those entitlements going negative in 2011 (more payouts thanSS/Medicare tax revenue). So that leaves commodities, precious metals, energy, and currencies asthe only liquid assets left investing that sloshing wealth in.Anything priced in dollars is vulnerable to dollar depreciation, butsince global demand for commodities and energy won't decrease, theprice can be driven up inversely to the dollar without risk of demandfalloff (which would bring the price back down). Eg, commodities andoil are a reliable hedge against a falling dollar, even when priced indollars, so that sloshing 'smart money' is being channeled intocommodities and oil, creating bubbles in those markets. Not completely sure yet how other currencies and gold fit into thepicture, still working on that. Gold and silver can be consideredboth precious metal and money, which makes them safe havens duringtimes of inflation or deflation (we have both right now,paradoxically), hence the increasing demand for them. The Euro, Iunderstand, is still fundamentally shakey. It's relatively new, hasno real country backing it, and I'm not sure what assets back it (USFederal Reserve notes are backed by the $800B in Treasury bonds theFed owns, though part of the dollar's collapse is that the Fed hasbeen using those bonds to prop up failing investment banks, andthey're down to less than half now). Some expect the Euro toeventually fall against the dollar when the world realizes Europe hasworse long term debt:GDP problems than America. Anyway, that's my best understanding so far, though I suspect I'veonly scratched the surface. I suppose 'speculators' is one word forwhat's happening, but only superficially....